“My results are negative? NO! NO! Why, God? Why? Why?”

“But George, negative is good.  That means everything is OK.”

“Oh…”

—  Seinfeld

—————————————————————

Doctors need serious lessons in bedside manner because their standard jargon flies right over patients heads.

“Mr. Greene.  I’m calling from the ________ Medical Center with your results!  On the biopsy the results show an atypical mole that exhibits a negative trend towards melanoma and static trend towards common dysplastic nevus!  Do you have any questions?”

Or something like that.

Couldn’t they have just said, “Mr. Greene?  _________ Medical Center here.  All clear!  That little spot we took off your back was worry-free and your insurance covered everything.  Have a nice day!  God Bless Obamacare!”   You get it?  Maybe couch their language with positive terms at least?

Their good news just took ten years off my life!

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